For the moments you feel weak

“Isenheim Altarpiece: The Crucifixion” by Matthias Grünewald, 1515

“Christian life is not a spa therapy,” Pope Francis said at Mass. For some of us, he’s stating the obvious: my Christian faith does not magically make my life sweet and pleasant. But should it?

When I am feeling particularly weak and vulnerable, many times I’m tempted to ask: “If I serve God, isn’t he supposed to make my life better? Why do I feel this way? Why do I find myself in this difficult situation?” But in those times, I have forgotten my faith entirely.

Saint Paul tells us, “For our sake (the Father) made (Christ) to be sin who did not know sin, so that we might become the righteousness of God in him” (2 Cor. 5:21). Look at Christ on the Cross. “Christ became sin for me! And my sins are there in his body, in his soul!” Pope Francis exclaimed. “It’s crazy, but it’s beautiful, it’s true! This is the scandal of the Cross!”

God became sin. For you. See the broken body of God on the Cross? See the one who took all the sins of the world on himself? This is the God we reverence, we praise, we proclaim, we eat. Look at this tortured, maimed Jesus. This is the God who says, “Follow me.”

Why did God choose this cruel death for himself? To show us how much He wants our nearness. God lowered Himself until he could go no lower. This is how strongly God desires to be close to us. “What the Lord wants from us is to announce this reconciliation,” said Pope Francis. This is the Good News: God gave us himself completely – totally vulnerable, anticipating the moment we would say to him, “I give myself to you.”

By rising to new life, Jesus shows us the fruits of our total self-gift.

Why am I afraid to be weak when my weakness makes me more like Jesus? Shouldn’t I wish to be perpetually weak – a total gift to God?

When you are weak, contemplate the horrible beauty of the Cross.

Preaching the Gospel

Preach the Gospel at all times, if necessary, use words.

Many of you may be familiar with this quote, often attributed to St. Francis. There can no doubt that he lived the meaning of those words. After reflecting on this quote one day, I came up with a couple of reflections I would like to share:

Preach the Gospel- This can take the form of many actions; from community service and charitable work, to simply putting a smile on and waving to strangers while in a public area. How often do we see people whose faces are looking down, afraid to even have eye contact with others whom they do not know?  While in college, I would see this situation many times. Just a simple nod to another person or even better, a smile and a hello, can add a bright moment to any one’s day. We preach the Gospel when we echo the message of Christ.

At all times- This means every single second of our existence on earth. Every fragment of our interior disposition and outer actions must be pointed to helping others see the Good News of Our Lord. Isn’t it an exciting challenge? One that Our Lord calls us to take, one that Saints inspire us to succeed in. Our message is one of urgency.

Use words if necessary- Sometimes, words are needed to preach the message. This quote doesn’t say that words are bad, but that they are useful only when they are required. We are called to speak the truth, by how we act and by what we say. Words are powerful in themselves, but become indestructible when the actions of the speaker reflect the same message.

There can often exist a perception of a conflict of preaching with words vs preaching with actions. But just like faith and reason are both needed and promoted in our Church, so too must our faith be enshrined with the words of hope and the actions of charity.

Want to beat boredom? Become a Catholic.

When Jesus called me back to the Catholic Church over a decade ago, I came back with my pre-conversion prejudices intact. Were they true? If so, why would Jesus want me there? I had to find out for myself everything the Catholic Church proclaimed.

“Jim and the Treasure” by N.C. Wyeth, from Robert Luis Stevenson’s Treasure Island (Scribner’s Sons, 1911)

Looking back, I realize how laughable that last statement is. There is no way in this life we can learn everything the Catholic Church teaches and proclaims even if we devoted 24/7 to the effort.

The Catholic faith reminds me of that scene in the movie National Treasure when the group of explorers finally discover the secret treasure room. They step into the dark cavernous room and see several priceless artifacts and jewels. Each picks up a different one and is mesmerized by its value and its history. One Catholic priceless jewel would be reading the teaching of a saint. You can spend hours, for example, fascinated by the teachings of St. Catherine of Siena.

But what happens next in the movie is what reminds me most of how the Catholic faith piques our interest the more we are enlightened in the Truth. The Nicolas Cage character puts his lighted torch to an oil-filled bowl and the fire zooms through canals, revealing that the room is much more massive than it at first appeared — every inch of it is filled with treasure.

That’s the Catholic Church.

Each teaching will lead you to a discovery which will lead you to a revelation which will lead you to another teaching and on and on and on. For instance, the teachings of St. Catherine of Siena reveal the beauty of Carmelite Spirituality. The beauty of Carmelite Spirituality can lead you to the writings of St. Teresa of Avila and then on to St. Therese of Lisieux and her ‘Little Way.’ Each jewel presents — in a different way — the love of God; fascinating in and of itself but revealing there is yet even more to delight, to inspire and to transform — and never ever to bore.

Far to Go: Growing in My Faith as a Convert

“But GROW in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.” 2 Peter 3:18

THE STARTING POINT FOR GROWING in the knowledge of our Lord is the understanding that we still have very far to go.

No matter how many times we attend Mass, how well we know the Bible, how many degrees we have obtained, how many “Hail Mary”s we recite, how holy we think have become…really? Spiritual growth is an ever-evolving process. Do we ever fully know Jesus?

As a new convert to Catholicism, it is easy to slip into self-judgment about how much I have to learn; feeling like I need to run to catch up with those who have been in Holy Mother Church all their lives.

It is at times like this that I feel God’s presence whispering that I am loved exactly where I am; and, despite my many faults, exactly as I am. And so I relax, opening my heart and mind to allow God’s grace to grow me, in His own time and in His own way. But each day it is my responsibility to set my eyes on our Lord who will make straight my path through the Holy Cross.

Heavenly Father, let me not become like the Pharisees, so smug and certain in their knowledge, that they did not recognize the Savior standing before them. Help me to begin each day in the understanding that I know nothing and that by myself I can do nothing.

The Mystery of God’s Plan

This Mother’s Day I received a Mother’s Day greeting card in the mail.  A few words written in the card:  ”You have countless children that all love you very  much.”

You see, I have had no children of my own.  My husband, Tom and I tried everything under the sun that is faithful to God’s law.  Yes, even adoption – five times and each time the door closed.  Oh yes, I can write pages of our experiences, the tests, the waiting, praying and hoping.  This November we will celebrate 35 years of marriage!  In the first few years of our marriage, so many asked “do you have any children?”  Or “how many children do you have?”  And when they learned that “we were trying to get pregnant”, many expressed their sympathy or wanted to pray over us, some wanted to give us remedies to try.  We understood their responses and were touched by their sincere concern. 

 One person had the perfect answer.  It came when I became a “spiritual mother” to a young woman whom we met through a social worker; she had been living with friends, abusing drugs and became pregnant by someone she couldn’t remember.  She decided to give her child for adoption.  I became her ‘labor-coach’ and was present during her long delivery.  I was the first to hold her newborn son in my arms.   That is when the “answer” came, it penetrated by heart.  I heard the Lord tell me in my heart – “You see, you have come a long way, as you hold this child in your arms, this is beautiful – but I have other plans for you.”  Immediately I sensed a deep peace while at the same time, I shed many tears.  They were tears of sadness, but there were also tears of relief because the Lord gave me the grace to let it all go. 

 Many pages can be written on the opportunities God has given us to nurture others.  We could not have done this without the grace of God. 

 There are many married couples unable to bear children of their own.  While it can be difficult, they can be consoled with the love for each another and for those around them.  God will lead the way and always provide opportunities for them to nurture others with love. 

 

Next time you meet a couple trying to get pregnant – Tell them you’ll pray for their intention and then rejoice with them in their love for each other. 

 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all encouragement, who encourages us in our every affliction, so that we may be able to encourage those are in any affliction with the encouragement with which we ourselves are encouraged by God.”          2 Corinthians 1:304 

How I Met Your Mother

Even though I returned with fervor to the Catholic faith following my “Mary Magdalene” conversion, I could not understand one of the Church’s pinnacle teachings – the importance of the Blessed Mother in our spiritual growth. I didn’t grasp why a devotion to the Blessed Mother was necessary to draw closer to our Jesus. He was the one that rescued me from the edge of despair and He was all I needed.

The women in my first group Catholic faith study made me question if I was missing something. As a wife and mother, I loved listening to how their faith helped them tackle the daily struggles of raising a family. It became apparent that the women who were most fulfilled and content spoke of their devotion to the Blessed Mother. Why?

I wanted to know so I asked her Son, “My Lord, if you want me to know your Mother, please introduce us.” Immediately Jesus made it very clear to me, He wanted me to meet her. It seemed that Mary, the ever virgin and Mother of God was the subject of every Catholic TV show, radio program and article I came across over the next few weeks. Following a program I watched that spoke of Pope John Paul II’s apostolic letter titled Redemptoris Mater (Mother of the Redeemer), I looked up the letter myself on the Internet.

In it I read in words what I witnessed in these women,

“In light of Mary, the Church sees in the face of women the reflection of beauty which mirrors the loftiest sentiments of which the human heart is capable: the self-offering totality of love, the strength that is capable of bearing the greatest sorrows, limitless fidelity and tireless devotion to work; the ability to combine penetrating intuition with words of support and encouragement.”

“Christ on the Cross with Two Marys and St. John” by El Greco (1588)

No wonder these women are so content, I thought. This letter speaks to the dignity in all the roles we women hold; and I can achieve that in light of Mary?!

The pope goes on to write how our Lord gave His Mother to us at His Passion:

…we perceive the real value of the words spoken by Jesus to his Mother at the hour of the Cross: “Woman behold your son” and to the disciple: “Behold your mother” (Jn. 19:26-27). They are words which determine Mary’s place in the life of Christ’s disciples and they express the new motherhood of the Mother of the Redeemer: a spiritual motherhood, born from the heart of the Paschal Mystery of the Redeemer of the world.

This letter convinced me how important it is to Jesus that we know His Mother and that meant it became important to me. I went to the ‘go to’ way our Catholic faith teaches to meet and spend time with her: the daily rosary.

What I soon discovered is that walking with Mary in her ‘rosary garden’ is a twenty minute visit with the woman who best knows Jesus and who never tires of revealing her Son’s love for us. It is never about her; that’s not her style.

J.K. Huysmans writes, “She soothes us and places us in the hands of her Son; but her hands are so light, so delicate, so soft, that the soul touched by them feels nothing.”

During May, if you have yet to open this gift, then take advantage of this month of Mary and meet your Mother.

Authentic Christianity: What does it look like?

Triptych by Duccio (1308)

In the reading from the Acts of the Apostles, Peter and Paul “…strengthened the spirits of the disciples and exhorted them to persevere in the faith saying, ‘It is necessary for us to undergo many hardships to enter the Kingdom of God.’” They did not tell them that God would make things better for them in this life; the focus was on eternal life, the salvation of their souls. As we know, some disciples gave up everything to be in the company of the Apostles and follow the “New Way” of being in relationship with God. Many disciples were persecuted and some were martyred.

This message from Peter and Paul was not only for the Christians of the early Church, it is also for us today. It is expected that our faith will influence all the important decisions we make and sometimes those decisions will be difficult. Are we willing to make sacrifices and put other people’s needs before our own desires? Jesus himself tells us we must deny ourselves, take up our crosses and follow him. We cannot allow our appetites and desires to dominate our life. If we live only for our self, we close our self off to the graces God wishes to give us and are destined for unhappiness. If our lives are not ordered to God, they are disordered.

What are some of the hardships you have endured? What is your most difficult trial? These come to all of us naturally; we don’t have to look for them. No matter how bad we had it on our worst day, there will always be others who will have had it much worse. Some will allow their trials to overwhelm them. They continue to look at their problems and in their imagination they become bigger than reality and they become bitter and depressed. Others, instead of dwelling on their trials look at Christ on the cross and find the strength to persevere. Those who draw close to Christ can even experience joy in the face of adversity.

The challenge is to experience our hardships in the light of Christ’s love and sacrifice for us. If we unite our suffering with the suffering of Christ it becomes redemptive for us, and others as well. Not only that, Christ also lessens the weight of our burdens just as he promises. Hardships are necessary because they help us to become dependent upon Jesus Christ, to discover “his strength in our weakness.” There are some people who would never have turned to Christ except for their hardships.

In the Gospel, Jesus says, “I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.” When Jesus tells us we must love one another he makes it a new commandment because he says we must love one another as he has loved us. In other words, we must love with a supernatural, sacrificial love. It is only possible to love in a supernatural way if we love God first above everything else, because He is the source of all love and everything that is good. If God is our first love, it will be possible for us to reach our potential in loving ourselves and others.

We can only love as Christ has loved us if that is the desire of our heart. If that is our desire, we ask for the grace to be faithful to what has been revealed to us through the Scriptures and the Church. We make a commitment to pray every day, to live the sacramental life and to continue to be formed in the Faith.

God has great plans for all of us that require us to surrender our will to His will. In His will, we experience unconditional love and mercy which lead to happiness now and forever. If our will is in opposition to His will, we are destined for unhappiness.

Lord, give us the grace to put our total trust in you so that you may be our hope in adversity and victorious in our struggles.

Catholicism: A Love Story

There are many beautiful treasures that our Church possesses to which the Holy Spirit can call people.  For me, it was the intellectual richness of the Catholic faith which drew me to appreciate it again. My mind was absorbed in the vastness of what our Church taught and how we came to that belief. Yet despite the mental feast, I still was not in love.

How could I not be in love with my Church? The one I knew factually as the Bride of Christ. The one whose treasures I was so eager to study.  I, like many Catholics, couldn’t help but see the Church as merely an institution. Because of this, even though I knew it had the fullness of truth,  I was not allowing myself to be in love with the Church.

Pope Francis has done an amazing job reflecting on the fact that the Catholic Church is not simply an organization, it is not simply a charitable club, but instead is a ‘love story.’

As my good friend and co-worker Angela reflected on at the Catholic Women’s Luncheon, God is always inviting us to a candle light dinner with Him, in the Eucharist.

This is where my love story began. Standing in adoration; being able to allow the information in my mind to pierce through my heart and grasp the full understanding of God’s love for me, as expressed through the Church.

In truth, we love the Church because we love Christ. We are often accused by separated brethren of not having a personal relationship with Christ. I never truly understood that accusation. The entire Church is built on the foundation of a relationship with Him. The Sacraments, for one, usher in an outward presence of a true and inner reality; in a similar way, as physical acts and expressions between couples reflect deeper notions of love. In fact, the greatest mystics of the Church described the intensity of their relationship with Christ in the metaphor of a marital union. This is what St. John of the Cross called a ‘Mystical Marriage’ with Christ.

This is the climax of our spiritual union with God; to be so in love with God through His Church that we become intimately united with Him. This is the journey all of us are called to take in this life. It is a difficult path, but one that will lead to full happiness and holiness. It will lead us to be Saints.

You Never Know Who’s Watching!

There are always people in our periphery view. They’re the ones with whom we may hardly exchange a, “Hello.” They’re the ones who move in and out of our everyday lives, and we hardly give them a thought. These very people have surprised me over the last few years.

• ‘Mary,’ shared some classes with me in college. She was vocal about preferring science over religion, and about her love of animals. Years later, she sent me a Facebook message; her beloved pet had died. She vulnerably asked what my Catholic faith said about animals; “Do they go to Heaven?”
• ‘Arthur,’ similarly shared classes with me in college. He was not into God. Several months ago, he sent me a message asking, “What’s the difference between a sister and a nun?”
• ‘Sarah’ had been part of the popular crowd in high school. A few days ago, she sent me a message with questions like, “How could God let bad things happen?” and “How can you be so strong in your faith?” Sarah was raised in a religious home, but has never believed in God. Now, she seems to be searching.

My point is this: You never know who’s watching. I cannot recall ever having had a single conversation with any of these three people.

In his April 14 homily, Pope Francis said:

In God’s great plan, every detail is important, even yours, even my humble little witness, even the hidden witness of those who live their faith with simplicity in everyday family relationships, work relationships, friendships. [...] Let us all remember this: one cannot proclaim the Gospel of Jesus without the tangible witness of one’s life. Those who listen to us and observe us must be able to see in our actions what they hear from our lips, and so give glory to God!

I’m not a Catholic apologist, or Church history expert, etc. But I know that Mary, Arthur and Sarah found me approachable. They observed my words and actions, and they wanted to hear from me…but I never would have guessed it! You, too, have people who silently observe your words and actions. As Christians, we have to ask ourselves: Am I truly living my faith? This is key because, in Pope Francis’ words,

Inconsistency on the part of pastors and the faithful between what they say and what they do, between word and manner of life, is undermining the Church’s credibility. But [consistent witness] is possible only if we recognize Jesus Christ, because it is he who has called us, he who has invited us to travel his path, he who has chosen us. [...] This is important for us: living an intense relationship with Jesus, an intimacy of dialogue and of life, in such a way as to recognize him as “the Lord”, and to worship him.

Take up this challenge — Jesus has called you by name. Are you willing to answer Him in each action you take? Live that “intense relationship with Jesus” in prayer, in Scripture, in the Sacraments, in the Church. From these sources, you will grow in your Christian and Catholic witness. Jesus needs each one of us to witness truthfully to who He is.

(Read Pope Francis’ full homily here.)

My Reflection on Becoming Catholic

“On the Banks of the Tiber” by Camille Corot (1826)

One year ago, I lived in Houston…was discerning in which direction to take my life…and still a Protestant. Today, I live in San Antonio…work for a Catholic evangelization ministry…and am now a confirmed Catholic. What happened? I fully believe God has a plan for our lives. Although we may not know what it is – He does – and that is what matters.

On an unsuspecting afternoon, in a restaurant, I met a Man of God from the Roman Catholic Church. The Holy Spirit hit me with a “2 x 4″, wave upon wave of revelation breaking over my stunned mind, and I knew within minutes that my life was about to go in a dramatically different direction. After this conversion experience, I could not get Catholicism out of my system – or the question, “Is this God’s will for me to become a Catholic?” out of my mind. Powerful forces were calling me to follow.

On September 10, 2012, I began working for Pilgrim Center of Hope. Following the example, and under the guidance and teaching of Deacon Tom and Mary Jane Fox, and my co-workers, Angela Sealana and Daniel Quintero, the seeds that had been planted a couple years prior were watered and found roots. Here at Pilgrim Center of Hope I have found peace, devotion to God, and service to community.

Then, on September 12, 2012, I began RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults), taking my first steps in the direction of becoming Catholic; my mind still not comprehending how I had gotten there – my heart knowing I was exactly where I was supposed to be. With each RCIA meeting every week for six months, my journey with Christ deepened and took on greater meaning. And what I learned about the Catholic faith only strengthened my conviction that I was on the right path.

At the Easter Vigil, on the most majestic and holy of nights, and the high point of my life, I became one in the Body of Christ and came “home” to Holy Mother Church. I can honestly say that I have found everything I didn’t know that I was looking for.