How I Met Your Mother

Even though I returned with fervor to the Catholic faith following my “Mary Magdalene” conversion, I could not understand one of the Church’s pinnacle teachings – the importance of the Blessed Mother in our spiritual growth. I didn’t grasp why a devotion to the Blessed Mother was necessary to draw closer to our Jesus. He was the one that rescued me from the edge of despair and He was all I needed.

The women in my first group Catholic faith study made me question if I was missing something. As a wife and mother, I loved listening to how their faith helped them tackle the daily struggles of raising a family. It became apparent that the women who were most fulfilled and content spoke of their devotion to the Blessed Mother. Why?

I wanted to know so I asked her Son, “My Lord, if you want me to know your Mother, please introduce us.” Immediately Jesus made it very clear to me, He wanted me to meet her. It seemed that Mary, the ever virgin and Mother of God was the subject of every Catholic TV show, radio program and article I came across over the next few weeks. Following a program I watched that spoke of Pope John Paul II’s apostolic letter titled Redemptoris Mater (Mother of the Redeemer), I looked up the letter myself on the Internet.

In it I read in words what I witnessed in these women,

“In light of Mary, the Church sees in the face of women the reflection of beauty which mirrors the loftiest sentiments of which the human heart is capable: the self-offering totality of love, the strength that is capable of bearing the greatest sorrows, limitless fidelity and tireless devotion to work; the ability to combine penetrating intuition with words of support and encouragement.”

“Christ on the Cross with Two Marys and St. John” by El Greco (1588)

No wonder these women are so content, I thought. This letter speaks to the dignity in all the roles we women hold; and I can achieve that in light of Mary?!

The pope goes on to write how our Lord gave His Mother to us at His Passion:

…we perceive the real value of the words spoken by Jesus to his Mother at the hour of the Cross: “Woman behold your son” and to the disciple: “Behold your mother” (Jn. 19:26-27). They are words which determine Mary’s place in the life of Christ’s disciples and they express the new motherhood of the Mother of the Redeemer: a spiritual motherhood, born from the heart of the Paschal Mystery of the Redeemer of the world.

This letter convinced me how important it is to Jesus that we know His Mother and that meant it became important to me. I went to the ‘go to’ way our Catholic faith teaches to meet and spend time with her: the daily rosary.

What I soon discovered is that walking with Mary in her ‘rosary garden’ is a twenty minute visit with the woman who best knows Jesus and who never tires of revealing her Son’s love for us. It is never about her; that’s not her style.

J.K. Huysmans writes, “She soothes us and places us in the hands of her Son; but her hands are so light, so delicate, so soft, that the soul touched by them feels nothing.”

During May, if you have yet to open this gift, then take advantage of this month of Mary and meet your Mother.

Learning what it means to participate at Mass

“Adoration of the Lamb” by Jan van Eyck (1429)

What does it mean to participate at Mass?

It took the calendar page changing from February to March to clarify for me what the difference is between attending or going to Mass and participating at Mass. Every March since I don’t know when, this proverb from my childhood pops into my head: “March comes in like a lion and leaves like a lamb.” Hey, I thought, that is just the opposite of the way Jesus blew into my soul.

As gentle as a lamb, Jesus embraced the desolate landscape of my soul, melting its hardness from years of selfish choices. With a desire to always feel His warmth, I returned to His Church and my Catholic faith to be with Him as closely as possible in the way He gave us; His Presence in the Eucharist.

Softly and patiently He guided me until I was ready to fully embrace my place that He has prepared for me in His Kingdom. I transitioned to repentant sinner, grateful believer and committed disciple. It was at this point, Jesus revealed Himself to me as King; Creator of Heaven and Earth.

Be still and know that I am God, supreme among the nations, supreme on the earth. (Psalm 46:11)

“The Lion of St. Mark” by Vittore Carpaccio (1516)

The best way I can describe it is that I witnessed His awesome power at the same time He tenderly held my hand. Jesus Christ first as a lamb and then as a lion conquered my soul with His gentle might. And just like the powerful lion that defends his pride, Jesus the King stationed Himself at the gates of my soul both protecting me from the evil outside and from the enemy within. His mighty roar both lifted my heart with trust in His protection as it brought me to my knees in His awesome Presence.

With this revelation of His power and might after first knowing Him as friend and redeemer, the Mass changed for me. Yes, I desire Mass so as to receive His love; but it’s no longer just about me. When He revealed His majesty to me He called me to serve Him; and the best way for me to do that is to come to His altar and worship Him as He deserves and that means my full participation. My duty as a Catholic became a privilege as His daughter, friend and disciple.

I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father. It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain… (John 15:15-16)

Our Catholic faith teaches us about this. The Second Vatican Council produced a document on just this subject titled, Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy, in which they write:

Mother Church earnestly desires that all the faithful should be led to that fully conscious, and active participation in liturgical celebrations which is demanded by the very nature of the liturgy. Such participation by the Christian people as ‘a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a redeemed people’ (1 Pet. 2:9; cf. 2:4-5), is their right and duty by reason of their baptism.

In the restoration and promotion of the sacred liturgy, this full and active participation by all the people is the aim to be considered before all else . . .

So what does participation at Mass mean? A few points:

• We arrive before Mass starts and present ourselves before the Lord.
• We vocally pray and sing in communion with our brothers and sisters.
• We actively pay attention to the readings and homily.
• We mentally offer our prayers, needs and our life at the Offertory in union with Christ.
• We reverently receive Communion.
• We stay until Father recesses, leaving in unison with one another.

If Mass has become a dull routine for you; consider the roles our Lord has called us to: a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation and a redeemed people and what now may simply be a box to be checked off as your Sunday duty will become an honor and the joy of your week.

Soul Searching at Mardi Gras

My family loves Mardi Gras parades. My husband, two sons and I return often to our hometown New Orleans so we can join this annual party. If you’ve never experienced a Mardi Gras parade, let me tell you it’s quite an interactive event. As floats roll through the streets, throngs of people line the route yelling, jumping and waving their hands in the hope of getting the “throws” that are tossed or more often hurled at the crowd by the masked riders. These “throws” are traditionally plastic bead necklaces, plastic cups, stuffed animals, plastic swords, and wooden spears; in other words, pretty worthless junk. I am not a fan of crowds so I prefer to stand back while most, including my family, push their way up screaming, “Throw me something, Mister!” It’s very entertaining to watch all the ways people try to get the attention of the riders and what lengths they will go to get this junk.

“Miss Louisiana” by thepipe26

One year, an interesting revelation came to me when I noticed what often happens after the victor gains his treasure. Without even a backwards glance, the throw is tossed in a pile and forgotten. I realize that it’s not the throws but getting them that is the fun. The whole value of a throw then is the few brief seconds from when it is spotted in the rider’s hands until it makes into the victor’s grasp. After that, it reverts to junk and will soon be stuffed into a box and stowed in the attic or garage until an industrious spring cleaning day relegates it to the curb.

…which is just how Satan views our souls.

Satan will try any antic to get our attention and like a Mardi Gras throw, once he wins our souls we are tossed away never to be thought of again; left to the boxed confines of our sins. Because you see, the devil has no desire to spend eternity with us; he only wants to get us so he can make sure God does not. He hates God; we are simply a means to an end.

The good news is that the devil is not the only searcher of souls. Our Lord is there as He always is, waiting for us. But unlike that pile of beads that ends up in the trash bin, garages or storage sheds in New Orleans, He has wonderful plans for you and me. . .

I know well the plans I have in mind for you; plans for your welfare and not for woe. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Why then, if our Lord desires such great plans for us, do we more often feel as worthless as those discarded pair of plastic Mardi Gras beads?

“Christ Embracing St. Bernard” by Francisco Ribalta (16th-17th century)

I received the answer to that question over ten years ago when my choices had brought me to my knees lost, alone and weary from battling the grasps of darkness. My Lord came to me, picked me up, put His arms around me and loved me out of my debilitating depression. He promised I would never feel alone again as He gently led me back to His Church and my Catholic faith.

In my return to the faith of my youth that I so ignorantly dismissed as archaic and unnecessary for my happiness, I discovered that God does not want to get us, but rather He wants to be with us now and forever in the complete and continuous exercise of our free will. We cannot be passive and expect to find the joy we so desire. God wants us to want to be with Him and joins us in discovering our happiness through Church teachings, His word in Scripture, through the Sacraments and most significantly by joining our suffering with His in the Eucharistic Celebration of Mass.

God does not view our souls like cheap plastic beads to be tossed at the mercy of the rider, but rather active participants in His wonderful plans for our happiness. We have a choice in whose hands we land.

The devil could not care less whether we cooperate with him or not. Since the beginning he has lied and tricked to get his way like when he told Eve, “You certainly will not die! God knows well that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods, who know good and evil,” (Genesis 3:4-5) but failing to mention that along with the knowledge of evil will also be the desire for evil and the consequences to pay. He flat out lied when he told her you will not die. He will make any effort to grasp our souls and keep them away from God and His wonderful plans for us.

My Catholic faith has taught me that I am not to find happiness on my own and there are two good reasons why. Firstly, no matter how intelligent, educated, willing or brave any of us may be, we are no match for the cunning and sinister ways of the devil.

Secondly and so very wonderfully, that is not God’s plan for us. We need our God with us just as He has wonderfully planned, “And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)

I look toward the floats and imagine the people clamoring for God rather than throws. I see our Lord reach down and pull people up into His arms calling each by name. He searches the crowd and when our eyes meet, He holds out His arms for me.

I run to join the party.

Mary’s fiat: “Bring it on!”

“Annunciation” by Vasily Surikov (1914)

It is only recently I took the time to appreciate the mother of Jesus.

I was born in the 1960s, came of age in the 1970s and soaked in the culture that can best be summed up with the song lyric, “I am woman, hear me roar.”

I never questioned if I had a voice because I just assumed I did. I did not know the woman whose only place was in the kitchen. My Mom was a very happy homemaker but never modeled that stereotypical 1950s version. My parents raised five daughters with the idea that our world was open to whatever we wanted to achieve.

My mother has always had a strong devotion to our Blessed Mother, but somewhere along the way I grew in the opinion that she was too meek and timid and no model for modern women like myself. It didn’t help that she was just too perfect and I was far from it. I remember thinking, “It’s easy to be Mary. If I was born ‘full of grace’ and without original sin, I would be holy too.”

Detail from “Missal of Bernhard von Rohr, Archbishop of Salzburg” (1481)

I discovered the true Mary one day while meditating on the Joyful Mystery of the Annunciation and on her fiat – her yes to God.

I compared her life to Eve’s, the first woman born without original sin. I believed Eve had gotten a bad rap, “How can a woman who had no idea about sin or evil know that the serpent was conning her?” Yes, she was gullible and naïve, but culpable?

My Catholic faith teaches that Eve’s choice evicted mankind from paradise and Mary’s choice restored the dignity of mankind; but I wondered, “Who had the easier choice?”

I imagined the culture Mary lived in and saw a young woman living 2000 years ago in violent and masculine Judea. Much like many cultures in that same region today, Mary possessed no rights or status as far as society was concerned. True, she was sinless and full of grace but must have observed all her life the inhumanity of man to one another and the consequence of sin in her world. She knew Scripture but also had to know what justice her society would dole out to an un-wed girl with child. But with no assurance of what the future brings and only a knowledge and trust in God’s love for her, Mary makes her choice, “May it be done unto me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

In Eden, Eve did not have to work for food, shelter or clothes. She felt no shame and had all of nature at her disposal. She did not know sin because there was no sin. The only rule is that God forbade her to eat or touch the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden or “You will die.” (Genesis 3:3) Her trust in God’s love and care for her should have been rock solid but, “She took some if its fruit and ate it,” (Genesis 3:6) choosing instead to trust the words of the lying serpent, “You certainly will not die.” (Genesis 3:4)

I had it all backwards. Eve was the meek and timid one; allowing the opinion of another creature to question her intelligence and knowledge.

“The Virgin of the Rosary” by Bartolome Esteban Murillo (1650)

Mary knew what those around her would think, but secure in her value as a daughter of God, drew on this knowledge and with real courage gave her fiat what in today’s vernacular could have been, “Bring it on!”

Mary was a woman who defied what the culture said about her womanhood and stood erect in her personal dignity as a creature made in the image and likeness of God who loves her unconditionally. She was fearless, she was courageous; a true model for the woman of today.

I regret my former opinion of our Mother. I now know she would have been a great companion along my path of singlehood, newly married and young mother. What hurt, guilt, sin and obstacles to happiness I could have avoided had I just drawn on the strength of this woman secure in her womanhood.

With Mary as my model for the modern woman, I grow in the confidence to defy this culture of lies and give my own “Bring it on!” fiat. With every Hail Mary I recite, she encourages me to have courage in who God created me to be, to be fearless in expressing my femininity and to welcome a life pregnant with the Way, the Truth and the Life in her Son, Jesus Christ.

Simple and Complicated: Thoughts on Pope John Paul II and the Walking Dead

G. K. Chesterton, English writer, thinker and Catholic convert wrote many books and essays on the nature of man, God and life. On his deathbed he summed it up in one sentence: “It is between light and darkness, and everyone must choose his side.”

A friend of mine once spoke of how complicated our Catholic faith is. I have come to realize that both Chesterton and my friend are correct. The Catholic faith is both complicated and simple.

God gave Moses the Ten Commandments. Jesus gave us the eight beatitudes and two commandments, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

We Catholics turned these commandments and beatitudes into the Catechism of the Catholic Church and libraries full of documents, writings and studies on our faith. Our Catholic faith is both complicated and simple because humanity is complicated and God is simple. In fact, God can even reduce His twelve commandments and eight beatitudes into one word: Love

God is Love.

So what is our response to this love? This is where we like to complicate things.

After watching Witness to Hope, a film about the life of Pope John Paul, II, I became intrigued with this man of God who has given the world, Theology of the Body – teachings on how the human body is created to respond to God. As someone who always hated her body; his teachings have turned my Catholic faith inside-out, upside-down and set it on fire.

A few weeks ago I bought the book Witness to Hope written by George Weigel so I can learn by reading what I should have learned by living through.

This book is not light reading. It is thick with facts, but the gems of wisdom are so precious they compel me to painstakingly read every word for fear I will miss one.

A few weeks ago, I am huddled in my corner chair reading the book while my sons and husband watch their favorite show, The Walking Dead. This show set amidst a zombie apocalypse pits a small rag-tag group of survivors against a majority population of walkers; dead people who somehow are still able to walk and eat.

As I’m reading, I find one of the gems of wisdom: Person and Act, a study by JPII. George Weigel writes about it (emphasis is mine):

Our personhood, he argues, is constituted by the fact of our freedom, which we come to know through truly “human acts.” In choosing one act (to pay a debt I have freely contracted) rather than another (to cheat on my debt), I am not simply responding to external conditions (fear of jail) or internal pressure (guilt). I am freely choosing what is good. In that free choosing, I am also binding myself to what I know is good and true. In this free choice of the good and true, Wojtyla suggests, we can discern the transcendence of the human person. I go beyond myself, I grow as a person, by realizing my freedom and confirming to the good and the true. Through my freedom, I narrow the gap between the person-I-am and the person-I-ought to be.

I sit back contemplating this, when I realize it is being played out on the TV:

The leader of the survivors, Rick, has to deal with a situation: A member of his group has been bitten by a zombie walker, but not killed. Fellow group members are yelling at Rick to kill the man before the inevitable occurs. He looks around and sees his wife, son and the others with terror-stricken faces. Rick knows this man will eventually become a flesh-eating zombie, but for now he is still a man and member of their group.

He turns to the bitten man trying desperately to decide what the correct response is. A scuffle begins as some of the others attempt to take matters into their own hands. Rick makes his choice and shuts it all down with the words, “We don’t kill the living.”

In a complicated situation, Rick chooses a simple good.

Our Catholic faith teaches various way to obey God’s simple command to love. It is why our faith is often described as a web because no matter where you land, you can take intricate strands back and forth, up and down but they all eventually reach the middle…God is love.

I have been making a conscious effort to decide how I “should” respond in the decisions and choices I make every day. To know the simple good, I have to know my faith. Because of God’s simple love for us, He provides it in as many complicated ways as we humans need, by way of Scripture and the Catechism.

Though I will never have to encounter zombie life or death, I may face issues in my family of unwanted pregnancy or removing life support. It’s comforting to know that our Lord will provide the simple answer to these complicated decisions. I trust my Catholic faith to narrow that gap between the woman-I-am and the woman-I-ought to be, and show me how to simply choose the good.

3-Step Plan for Peace and Happiness in Difficult Encounters

We all have to deal with those people who irritate, annoy, anger and perturb us. It could be someone we work with, the rude cashier at the grocery store, but more often it is our son, our daughter, our sister, our mother, our wife or our husband. In other words, the people we are with the most and with whom we are called to be the most self-giving.

As I study the teachings of my Catholic faith, I grow in understanding of the importance of witnessing to Jesus by becoming a self-giver. Many of my prayers center on asking for the grace to handle the tough relationships in my life. Often though, these difficult encounters occur with grace un-received.* I end up asking our Lord for forgiveness but also thinking to myself, “I could be holy if it wasn’t for all these jerks in my life!”

*I know that’s arrogant and note that I write “grace un-received,” because I am very aware it’s me at fault. God always gives us what we need; whether or not we accept it determines our holiness. In prayer and Scripture study I believe and accept Jesus’ love for me. Why does that peace not translate into my actions?

I have dealt with this for many years, so when Fr. Scott Traynor gave us women attending the ENDOW retreat in Denver a 3-Step Plan to overcome these difficult encounters AND remain happy and at peace, I quickly wrote down this pearl of practical faith. Here it is:

Fr. Scott Traynor’s 3-Step Plan for Peace and Happiness in Difficult Encounters:

1. Ask God to come into the pain you are currently feeling and ask Him to set you free of it so that you can engage in the encounter.
2. Forgive the person offending you. Make a conscious choice not to demand payment for this debt.
3. Ask God to bless this person who is hurting you and pray for the spiritual blessings he or she needs. If you know the spiritual blessings, ask for them specifically. If not, ask God to provide the blessings He knows is needed.

PUTTING IT TO THE TEST
Floating on my retreat cloud, I bask in the love of my husband and younger son hugging and kissing me at the airport. I walk into the house expecting a smile and welcome home but instead of my 16-year old son I find, Mr. Surly, his alter-ego. Not deterred thanks to two days of soul-stretching faith lessons, I attempt to engage him in conversation and love him out of his rotten mood only to be rebuffed with blank stares and grunts.

Okay, this is the moment when I would usually give a long lecture about how he is rude, he needs to shape up, we don’t need to be subjected to his moods, yada, yada, yada. My husband would come to my defense and the entire house would swirl into a hurricane of animosity as my retreat peace and joy is flooded in a toxic stew of anger.

Instead, I quietly go through each of the 3 steps.

I would love to tell you that my son immediately put his arms around me, apologized and told me how much he loves me . . . but that would be a lie. Instead, it is what happened to me that’s worth noting. You see, bringing God into that moment freed me from having to deal with the angry situation all by myself. I have no idea what God did with the anger I gave to Him, but the grace He gave to me in return enabled me to remain at peace and yes, happy. I learned that day the value in allowing God to work in us to affect change for the good of all; in this instance, my family.

I am happy to tell you that a short while later my son washed ashore from whatever hormone-induced wave he was riding and we finally got to have that reunion I was hoping for. I am sure that never would have happened if I tried to handle things on my own.

I cannot recommend enough the faith-enriching experience I had at the ENDOW retreat in Denver. Fortunately, the good women of ENDOW offer their studies around the globe. To learn more about ENDOW (Educating on the Nature and Dignity of Women) go to endowgroups.org. To hear more inspiring advice from Fr. Scott Traynor, listen to his 7-questions videos on YouTube. Here is one of them:

Coffee Shop Present

Sitting at our local coffee shop, my husband and I are enjoying a rare treat; we are leisurely reading the newspaper, drinking coffee and just hanging out. We haven’t attempted this in several years since our sons—quite frankly—ruined the experience with their sighs, fidgeting and “How much longer do we have to sit here?” remarks. At 16 and 12 years of age, both my boys are old enough to go off with friends and as luck would have it, are both invited to social events. I say a small prayer of thanksgiving for this blessing back in our lives.

Between the social and metro sections of the paper, I glance at the coffee shop crowd. Seated on my left is a young couple with their ever-moving toddler. They are in the phase of life when names are replaced with titles: “Give mommy your toy while you eat, please,” “Daddy, can you give Baby his juice cup he dropped?” With only one, they are still able to manage this coffee-shop event. I smile to myself.

Behind me a group of 20-something women is laughing between stories about dates, work and social escapades. As I begin to reminisce about my single past, I’m distracted by the entrance of four giggling high school girls with wet, straight, long hair all dressed in the uniform of the day: flip flops, t-shirts and gym shorts that look like what I was forced to wear for P.E. in the 70s. (How are those in style?!) They communicate with one another—heads down—staring at their pink-and-turquoise-colored, bejeweled cell phones. They have just reached the life phase of venturing out on their own without parents and siblings in tow.

Did I appreciate their high school freedom, young adult adventures and non-judging sweetness? I have to confess, no. I took each phase of my life for granted; seeing the toil and rarely the joy, and always looking to the next phase for something better just out of my grasp. Jesus teaches us to live in the present:

“But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.”
Matthew 6:33-34

Sitting with the knowledge that several years under my belt brings, I ask for the grace to live in the present and appreciate the blessings it holds. In these ‘“coffee shop phases of life,’” I represent the time when a woman has children at home but not underfoot, able to enjoy a full night’s sleep as long as peri-menopausal hormones cooperate and children are home by curfew. “Thank you, Lord that I am past worrying about a big test the next day, if that cute guy I met last night will call, or if my son will ever fall asleep.”

I open my eyes to see an elderly woman and her husband walk in. He looks like he may have had a stroke and leans on her as they slowly make their way to the closest table. Once he is seated, she busies herself getting napkins and utensils. She goes to the counter to order and I can tell she is flustered between ordering and keeping one eye on her husband. She’’s probably wondering if taking a break from fixing breakfast at home was worth the effort.

Trying not to stare, I avert my eyes to the corner table where a wheelchair-bound octogenarian is being fed by her nursemaid. I feel a lump in my throat and my stomach tighten, “Are these the future phases of my life?” I take a deep breath and blow it out. My husband looks up and asks if anything is wrong.

As I am about to go where Jesus advised not to, I receive the grace I just asked for: “Not at all,” I respond as sip my second coffee and reach for the editorial section. “It’s a beautiful day.”

The Perfect Prayer Partners

“Way of Salvation” by Andrea Bonaiuti (1365-68, Cappella Spagnuolo, Florence)

Father Alex, a recent visitor at the Pilgrim Center of Hope, advised that prayer partners are a great way to stay accountable in our spiritual life. Great advice, I thought, but how am I going to find someone willing to prayer with me at 5:30am or can be as flexible as I am called to be given my ever-changing family’s schedule?

Turns out…it’s actually quite easy.

This week, I explored more deeply the Catholic Church’s teaching on the communion of saints thanks to a free self-study I am taking from the Catholic Home Study Service. I learned the Body of Christ, our Church, is divided in three:

• The Church Triumphant is made up of saints who are united with God in Heaven.
• Those of us still living on Earth are the Church Militant.
• The Church Suffering is our brothers and sisters who have died in God’s grace but are still in need of purification. These holy souls in purgatory are assured of Heaven…just not yet.

In his general audience on August 4, 1999, Pope John Paul II stressed that the term “purgatory” does not indicate a place, but rather “a condition of existence” of “those who, after death, exist in a state of purification.” Since a saint is defined as someone who does God’s will in all things, it is reassuring to know that God’s mercy through purgatory is available for those of us who fall short of this definition.

During this state of purification, souls can pray for us, but no longer for themselves. In God’s mercy for their souls and ours, we are allowed to participate with our Blessed Mother, the saints, and angels in prayer for these holy souls to alleviate their suffering and hasten their journey to Heaven. (It’s important to note here that offering our sufferings up for the forgiveness of sins is believed to lessen our time in purgatory. So those of us who rolled our eyes every time Mom suggested we do just that should call them immediately and apologize!)

Detail from “An Angel Frees the Souls of Purgatory” by Lodovico Carracci (c. 1610, Pinacoteca Vaticana)

“Nothing is done alone,” writes Susan Tassone, author of Praying with the Saints for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. “The Church Militant reaches out to the Church Suffering and enjoins them with the Church Triumphant. We work as a team.” This team has become my prayer partners and they are available 24/7; so even with my crazy schedule I always have partners to pray with and to keep me accountable.

I have found that the perfect prayer for this partnership is the Rosary and in particular the Hail Mary. I begin my daily Rosary asking the heavenly hosts, my guardian angel, my favorite saints and the holy souls in purgatory to pray for me and for all of us on Earth to Jesus through our Blessed Mother.

Then, I envision them united in prayer,

“Hail Mary Full of Grace, the Lord is With Thee, Blessed Art Thou Among Women and Blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb Jesus.”

I recite the second part of the prayer for all of us and for the holy souls in purgatory,

“Holy Mary Mother of God Pray for Us Sinners Now and at the Hour of our Death.”

The fruit of this prayer partnership is that I am accountable in assisting these poor souls reach Heaven, and that helps me stay focused and free of distraction. I enjoy a growing connection to my family in Eternity and assurance due to the Church’s teaching that my prayers are effective. This connection is drawing me closer to Christ through my communion with His family in prayer.

Want to participate in our prayer partnership? Just start praying the Rosary daily wherever and whenever you can and you will be a part of this perfect prayer partnership.

(To learn more about the holy souls in purgatory, view this 30-minute video with Susan Tassone on EWTN Bookmark.)

As we enter heaven, we will seem them, so many of them coming toward us and thanking us. We will ask who they are and they will tell us, ‘A poor soul you prayed for in purgatory!  – Venerable Fulton J. Sheen

What It Really Means to Choose ‘The Better Part’ – Reflecting on Martha and Mary

"Christ in the House of Mary and Martha" by Vermeer

My big plan this evening was to sit down, meditate on Scripture and then write an inspirational blog about staying close to Christ in everyday life. The Scripture reading I selected to quietly mediate on is the Gospel story in Luke 10:38-42:  The story goes . . .

As they continued their journey he entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary [who] sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” The Lord said to her in reply, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.

My big plan was diverted as soon as I sat down. My eleven year old son walks up to me with two math worksheets in his hands, tears in his eyes and that “I don’t get this” frustrated look on his face.  Filled with pity for his predicament, I push my lap-top aside and help him for what turns into two hours of teaching and consoling.

We are now both exhausted.  My son plops on the couch and relaxes.  And here I am left on my own staring at a blank screen with a spent brain. I can feel the self-pity and resentment start to rise inside when a gentle voice consoles me, “You chose the better part.”

Hmmm.  You see, what we often miss in this story is that it was not that Martha was doing the wrong thing by working and asking for help, and it was not that Mary sitting instead of working was the right thing.  It was that Mary was focused on Jesus and Martha was focused on herself.

Do you ever wonder what happened between Martha and Jesus after He spoke to her? Did she walk off in a huff?  No, because whenever we have a personal encounter with Our Lord we are transformed.  I imagine that she let out a big sigh, as she was emptied of her anger and resentment, and that her shoulders relaxed as peace filled her to the brim. I imagine they smiled at each other, and Martha went back to her work with the joy that only the experience of being close to Christ can bring.

We lead busy lives with so much pressure on our time and talent; but if we want to be happy and feel purpose to our lives, we must stay close to Christ.  There are many different ways we can fit Our Lord into our busy work week:  meditating on the Rosary, impromptu praying, attending a daily Mass or sitting in Adoration for a couple of minutes between errands.  In so many ways, He calls us – and all we have to do is listen.  This is choosing the better part.