For the moments you feel weak

“Isenheim Altarpiece: The Crucifixion” by Matthias Grünewald, 1515

“Christian life is not a spa therapy,” Pope Francis said at Mass. For some of us, he’s stating the obvious: my Christian faith does not magically make my life sweet and pleasant. But should it?

When I am feeling particularly weak and vulnerable, many times I’m tempted to ask: “If I serve God, isn’t he supposed to make my life better? Why do I feel this way? Why do I find myself in this difficult situation?” But in those times, I have forgotten my faith entirely.

Saint Paul tells us, “For our sake (the Father) made (Christ) to be sin who did not know sin, so that we might become the righteousness of God in him” (2 Cor. 5:21). Look at Christ on the Cross. “Christ became sin for me! And my sins are there in his body, in his soul!” Pope Francis exclaimed. “It’s crazy, but it’s beautiful, it’s true! This is the scandal of the Cross!”

God became sin. For you. See the broken body of God on the Cross? See the one who took all the sins of the world on himself? This is the God we reverence, we praise, we proclaim, we eat. Look at this tortured, maimed Jesus. This is the God who says, “Follow me.”

Why did God choose this cruel death for himself? To show us how much He wants our nearness. God lowered Himself until he could go no lower. This is how strongly God desires to be close to us. “What the Lord wants from us is to announce this reconciliation,” said Pope Francis. This is the Good News: God gave us himself completely – totally vulnerable, anticipating the moment we would say to him, “I give myself to you.”

By rising to new life, Jesus shows us the fruits of our total self-gift.

Why am I afraid to be weak when my weakness makes me more like Jesus? Shouldn’t I wish to be perpetually weak – a total gift to God?

When you are weak, contemplate the horrible beauty of the Cross.

Palm Sunday: Christ’s love and our freedom

“The Entry into Jerusalem” by Giotto (c. 1305)

This Sunday was Palm Sunday, the day we remember how Jesus was gloriously received as he entered Jerusalem amidst the shouts of “Hosanna in the highest! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!” It was the only time that Jesus was received with great jubilation by the crowds as he entered Jerusalem.

However, we have just read the Passion of Christ, and we know that these same people who shouted, “Hosanna!” will also shout “Crucify him!” During the reading of the Passion we also shouted, “Crucify him!” and it is fitting that we did. It was our sins also that he bore on the way to Golgotha. He carried the weight of the sin of all humanity for all time with him to his death. He died for my sins and for yours so that we might be saved from eternal death.

“Ecce Homo” by Andrea Mantegna (1502)

Even though he died for all humanity, all humanity will not receive the same benefit from his death. He has entrusted his plan of salvation to his Church, expecting those who believe in him to be a light in the world, sharing the Good News of salvation with others so that they might believe in him and their lives be transformed by his grace. We each have a free will and we each must make the choice to turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel.

Next weekend, during the Easter Vigil, there will be thousands of people received in the Church throughout the world. In a way, it will be a little like Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem as these people joyfully welcome Jesus into their minds, hearts and souls and the whole community will proclaim, “Alleluia!” as it was proclaimed for each one of us as we were baptized. During the Easter liturgy, we all will renew our baptismal vows together as a reminder of what Christ has done for us and of our need to put our total faith in him.

The reading of Christ’s Passion reminds us that our baptism is not only about the joy of welcoming Jesus Christ, it is about believing in him, trusting in him, and being faithful to what he has revealed to us through the Scriptures and the Church. Our purpose in this life is to know, love and serve God so that we can be happy now and forever. Jesus Christ shows us how to live our life close to God so that our faith will influence all the decisions we make. When we refuse to be faithful to Jesus Christ, we once again say, “Crucify him.“

Is the Holy Family a realistic model for us?

“The Holy Family with the Infant St. John” by Bartolome Esteban Murillo

The Holy Family was the happiest family in the history of humanity, not because they were given special privileges, but because of their faithfulness and humility. We might expect the mother of God and his foster father to live as royalty as they cared for the child Jesus. However, they had the same living conditions, concerns and trials as any other working-class family. As faithful Jews, they did not consider themselves above the law, but instead were obedient to the letter of the law. Mary and Joseph’s obedience to the Word of God was their source of hope. They in turn would teach Jesus to be obedient even as he was beginning to discover his purpose in the plan of his Heavenly Father.

This faithfulness and obedience that was the source of happiness for the holy family is also God’s plan for each of us. The holy family is an example of how we all should live our lives close to God. It’s in our family that we should first learn about God and the importance of daily prayer.

The most important gift that parents can give their children is that their children know without a doubt that their parents love each other and that they are loved by their parents. This gives the children the security they need, especially in their developing years. It is also important that children see their parents pray together and are taught by their parents how to pray.

How Can We Join God’s Family?

When a child is baptized, the parents agree to be the first teachers of the way of our faith. In baptism, we all become children of God and part of His family, which is the Church. The Church that Jesus Christ founded is also called our Mother because it is in her that God’s specific plan of salvation unfolds for His family. It is through this Church that we receive the Word of God and the sacraments which allow us to encounter Jesus Christ in an intimate and personal way, especially when we receive him in the Holy Eucharist.

“The Last Communion of St. Joseph Calasanz” by Francisco Goya (1819)

Now that we are adults – no matter if we are married or single – whether we live alone or as a family, we are members of the family of God. We call ourselves Christian because we claim Jesus Christ as our Savior and we agree to be his disciples. This is no casual thing; it requires each of us to “deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow him.” No matter if we should gain the whole world, we can only be truly happy now and for all eternity by being a faithful witness to what Christ has revealed to us through the Church and the Scriptures.

The wonderful thing about God Our Father is that no matter who we are or what we have done He longs for us to come to Him with a humble heart so that we may experience His mercy and love. It is for this purpose that He has given us the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Yes, it does take humility to confess our sins to Jesus Christ through his minister the priest, but then it is Jesus Christ who through his priest says, “Your sins are forgiven,” and then gives us grace to help us overcome sin.

Making Our Home a Domestic Church

In the month of October, we began the Year of Faith which continues until November 2013. The purpose of this year is to help all of us to re-focus our lives on what is really important so that we can be filled with hope and peace. We are encouraged to follow the example of the Holy Family and live our lives in communion with God. Our homes should become a domestic church where we pray with the people we love and grow together in the faith by reading the Scriptures, the lives of the saints, and the teachings of our Mother the Church, given to us for our sanctification.

There is no one on this earth who has a greater possibility of having the experience of being a member of the family of God than those of us who belong to the Church He founded. We have everything we need to live a life close to God if we so chose. It begins with the desire to place God first in our lives and then follow the example of Mary, Joseph and all the saints who have gone before us. There is no shortcut to becoming holy; the path is the same as it always has been.

Mary and Joseph, pray for us that we will receive the desire to be faithful followers of Jesus Christ, so that we may be truly happy now and for all eternity.

This blog was originally preached by Deacon Tom Fox as his homily for The Feast of the Holy Family (C) at St. Matthew Catholic Church in San Antonio, Texas.

What Are We Supposed to DO During the Year of Faith? Pope Benedict XVI’s Road Map.

If you haven’t already heard, Pope Benedict XVI has announced a Year of Faith for all Catholics, which began October 11 and runs through November 24, 2013. If you have heard, you’ve probably guessed that we’re supposed to grow stronger in our faith this year…but, how?

Our Holy Father didn’t just say, “Year of Faith. Tag…you’re it!” and expect us to go our own way. As a good pastor, he wrote us a letter called The Door of Faith (Porta Fidei). In this letter, he gives us a road map for this special Year.

Here are the basics:

REDISCOVER. Our Holy Father says this Year is a time to rediscover the journey of faith, “rediscover a taste for feeding ourselves” on the Scriptures (as they are given to us by the Church) and on the Eucharist, “rediscover the joy of believing and the enthusiasm for communicating the faith,” rediscover God’s love “day by day,” and “rediscover and study the content of the faith.”

Since that’s a lot to swallow, he breaks it all down further into bite-sized chunks.

1. BE RENEWED. We’re called to renew commitment to our Catholic faith, but true renewal only comes by God’s grace. Our transformation and turning towards God is supernatural! We can’t do it on our own; we have to cooperate with God. The Pope reminds us: “To the extent that he freely cooperates [with grace], man’s thoughts and affections, mentality and conduct are slowly purified and transformed” (6). So, we need God’s grace! How do we receive it? As Catholics, we especially receive grace through the sacraments. “Without the liturgy and the sacraments, the profession of faith would lack efficacy because it would lack the grace which supports Christian witness” (11). How will you commit to receiving Confession and Holy Communion more often this Year?

St. Augustine

2. REFLECT. Even when we receive the sacraments, we need to be open to receiving the graces. Are you keeping up walls that have become obstacles to God? This Year, our Holy Father calls us to “reflect on the act of faith” (9). He reminds us that we cannot have any certainty in our lives unless we abandon ourselves into God’s hands (7). We need to reflect: How am I clinging to my wants, fears, and habits? Why am I not trusting God with everything? How can I begin to shed the obstacles that are keeping God out of every area of my life?

3. REPEAT & RECALL. When we allow God in, He can give us the supernatural gift of faith. But we need to cultivate this gift by repeating and recalling the Creed. The Holy Father point us to words by St. Augustine—the former sinner extraordinaire—who tells us that reciting the Creed in church isn’t enough. “In your minds and hearts you must keep it ever present, you must repeat it in your beds, recall it in the public squares and not forget it during meals: even when your body is asleep, you must watch over it with your hearts” (9). And Pope Benedict reminds us, “A Christian may never think of belief as a private act” (10). You might start by discovering ALL that our Church teaches, even one paragraph of the Catechism at a time. Perhaps find a letter by a pope on a subject you find interesting. Then, commit to repeating and recalling our Faith in every area of your life.

4. RETRACE. We learn how to constantly “repeat and recall” our faith from the lives of faithful people who’ve gone before us. The Pope says retracing our Faith’s history “will be of decisive importance in this Year” (13). We can do this in a variety of ways. Here are just a few examples:

• Sign up for a Scripture study about the Old Testament or the Early Church.
• Read the lives of the saints – buy a book, check out some from your local library, or search online.
• Attend a presentation on Church history – ask your parish or diocese for ideas.
• Participate in a pilgrimage to the Holy Land or other holy site – we’re organizing several.

5. RECOGNIZE. Inspired by these models of faith, we are called to “recognize the face of the risen Lord in those who ask for our love” (14). This means giving ourselves in service to others. Pope Benedict XVI reminds us that the Scriptures say, “Faith without works is dead” (James 2), and that Jesus asks us to care for him through “the least” among us (Matthew 25). How will you commit to recognize and serve Christ in others this Year?

6. RELATIONSHIP. Our Holy Father ends with two more pointers. First, that “this Year of Faith make our relationship with Christ the Lord increasingly firm” (15). Interestingly, he writes in this section about the suffering and joyful experiences in our lives. As with anyone, our relationship with Jesus strengthens when we share our joys and our sufferings with Him—and when He’s the cause of our joy and suffering! When you truly live your Faith, you’ll “have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith…is tested by fire” (1 Peter) like gold. So, how will you commit to share your joys and sufferings with Jesus? You might schedule regular prayer time, keep a journal, practice Lectio Divina, drop into a Eucharistic Adoration chapel, or even place a picture of Jesus in a special place at home or work.

7. RECONCILIATION. Finally, every time we fail to do all of the above, God offers us mercy. Pope Benedict reminds us that the Church is “the visible community of (God’s) mercy” (15). We cannot be the Body of Christ all by ourselves; we are each members who are part of the whole Body (1 Corinthians 12)! This Year of Faith, accept God’s gift of mercy by going to Confession frequently, The Sacrament of Reconciliation. Then, commit to being an active member of your local parish—one who offers the peace and forgiveness of Jesus to everyone.

What the world is in particular need of today is the credible witness of people enlightened in mind and heart by the word of the Lord, and capable of opening the hearts and minds of many to the desire for God and for true life, life without end. (Pope Benedict XVI, Porta Fidei 15)

3-Step Plan for Peace and Happiness in Difficult Encounters

We all have to deal with those people who irritate, annoy, anger and perturb us. It could be someone we work with, the rude cashier at the grocery store, but more often it is our son, our daughter, our sister, our mother, our wife or our husband. In other words, the people we are with the most and with whom we are called to be the most self-giving.

As I study the teachings of my Catholic faith, I grow in understanding of the importance of witnessing to Jesus by becoming a self-giver. Many of my prayers center on asking for the grace to handle the tough relationships in my life. Often though, these difficult encounters occur with grace un-received.* I end up asking our Lord for forgiveness but also thinking to myself, “I could be holy if it wasn’t for all these jerks in my life!”

*I know that’s arrogant and note that I write “grace un-received,” because I am very aware it’s me at fault. God always gives us what we need; whether or not we accept it determines our holiness. In prayer and Scripture study I believe and accept Jesus’ love for me. Why does that peace not translate into my actions?

I have dealt with this for many years, so when Fr. Scott Traynor gave us women attending the ENDOW retreat in Denver a 3-Step Plan to overcome these difficult encounters AND remain happy and at peace, I quickly wrote down this pearl of practical faith. Here it is:

Fr. Scott Traynor’s 3-Step Plan for Peace and Happiness in Difficult Encounters:

1. Ask God to come into the pain you are currently feeling and ask Him to set you free of it so that you can engage in the encounter.
2. Forgive the person offending you. Make a conscious choice not to demand payment for this debt.
3. Ask God to bless this person who is hurting you and pray for the spiritual blessings he or she needs. If you know the spiritual blessings, ask for them specifically. If not, ask God to provide the blessings He knows is needed.

PUTTING IT TO THE TEST
Floating on my retreat cloud, I bask in the love of my husband and younger son hugging and kissing me at the airport. I walk into the house expecting a smile and welcome home but instead of my 16-year old son I find, Mr. Surly, his alter-ego. Not deterred thanks to two days of soul-stretching faith lessons, I attempt to engage him in conversation and love him out of his rotten mood only to be rebuffed with blank stares and grunts.

Okay, this is the moment when I would usually give a long lecture about how he is rude, he needs to shape up, we don’t need to be subjected to his moods, yada, yada, yada. My husband would come to my defense and the entire house would swirl into a hurricane of animosity as my retreat peace and joy is flooded in a toxic stew of anger.

Instead, I quietly go through each of the 3 steps.

I would love to tell you that my son immediately put his arms around me, apologized and told me how much he loves me . . . but that would be a lie. Instead, it is what happened to me that’s worth noting. You see, bringing God into that moment freed me from having to deal with the angry situation all by myself. I have no idea what God did with the anger I gave to Him, but the grace He gave to me in return enabled me to remain at peace and yes, happy. I learned that day the value in allowing God to work in us to affect change for the good of all; in this instance, my family.

I am happy to tell you that a short while later my son washed ashore from whatever hormone-induced wave he was riding and we finally got to have that reunion I was hoping for. I am sure that never would have happened if I tried to handle things on my own.

I cannot recommend enough the faith-enriching experience I had at the ENDOW retreat in Denver. Fortunately, the good women of ENDOW offer their studies around the globe. To learn more about ENDOW (Educating on the Nature and Dignity of Women) go to endowgroups.org. To hear more inspiring advice from Fr. Scott Traynor, listen to his 7-questions videos on YouTube. Here is one of them:

5 Crucial Lessons for Us All, from Pope Benedict XVI’s Visit to Lebanon

This past weekend, Pope Benedict XVI courageously journeyed to Lebanon—neighboring tumultuous Syria, Israel, Iraq and Iran. Why wasn’t this historic visit covered by major news networks? In journalism, “if it doesn’t bleed, it doesn’t lead.” Personally, I’d rather not let mainstream media tell me which stories are important!

Contrary to the conflict in most news stories, Pope Benedict XVI came as “a pilgrim of peace, as a friend of God and as a friend of all the inhabitants of all the countries of the region, whatever their origins and beliefs.” Every human being, and especially us Catholics, should heed five important lessons from his various activities in Lebanon:

Youthful crowd meets Pope Benedict XVI in Lebanon (L’Osservatore Romano)

ONE: The World Must Not Forget Middle Eastern Christians

How often do you pray for the Christians in the Middle East? Westerners visiting that region may ask the native Christians, “When did you convert?” To which most Middle Eastern Christians would proudly respond: “Never! I am a descendant of the first Christians!” In our ignorance, we Westerners often forget that Our Lord chose the Middle East to be his homeland; he chose the Jewish and Arab peoples to be the his first disciples!

In Lebanon, our Holy Father expressed gratitude for their faithful 2,000-year witness: “How can we fail to thank God at every moment for all of you, dear Christians of the Middle East! How can we fail to praise him for your courage and faith? How can we fail to thank him for the flame of his infinite love which you continue to keep alive and burning in these places which were the first to welcome his incarnate  Son? How can we fail to praise and thank him for your efforts to build  ecclesial and fraternal communion, and for the human solidarity which you constantly show to all God’s children?”

We would do the Body of Christ a disservice if we failed to love and pray for Middle Eastern Christians.

TWO: In Times of Discord, Solidarity Has Power

Given all the violence that has recently developed in the Middle East, you’d think that the Holy Father would’ve at least thought about cancelling this trip to Lebanon. But his response? “I never took that idea into consideration, because I know that as the situation becomes more complicated, it is even more necessary to offer a sign of fraternal encouragement and solidarity.”

Normally, our human tendency in conflict is: Fight, or Flight. But Christ asks us to go beyond what is natural, to the supernatural. The Holy Father said: “Experiencing together moments of friendship and joy enables us to resist the onset of division, which must always be rejected! Brotherhood is a foretaste of heaven!”

The Pope and President of Lebanon (Vatican Television Center video)

THREE: Mutual Respect is Not Optional

We’re quick to identify enemies, especially in foreign policy and times of strife. Isn’t it easier to say, “Those people,” instead of “My brothers”?

Pope Benedict XVI encouraged tens of thousands of young Middle Easterners gathered with him to be examples of the mutual respect to which God calls us. “Christ asks you,” he said, “to do as he did: to be completely open to others, even if they belong to a different cultural, religious or national group.” The Pope reminded political leaders in the Middle East, “In God’s plan, each person is unique and irreplaceable,” made in God’s image and likeness. Therefore, we are commanded by Christ to love one another.

FOUR: Strengthening the Family Will Strengthen Society

Lebanon’s President was extremely impressed and moved by the Holy Father’s address to government and religious leaders. President Suleiman said, “All the people and the politicians of the Middle East should hear, read and meditate on this speech of the Pope.”

So, what did the Pope say? Fundamentally, he spoke about how to strengthen global society: “A person comes into this world in a family, which is the first locus of humanization, and above all the first school of peace. To build peace, we need to look to the family, supporting it and facilitating its task, and in this way promoting an overall culture of life.”

FIVE: True Religion Spreads Peace

Nowadays, we Americans are used to being engaged in war somewhere overseas—particularly in the Middle East. But as Catholics first and Americans second, we need to examine each war according to Catholic teaching before expressing our support. Pope Benedict XVI gave a counter-cultural message while in Lebanon: “We must promote all possible actions, including material ones, to support the end of war and violence so that all can contribute to the rebuilding of the country,” he said.

Even en route to the Middle East, Pope Benedict XVI asserted, “The basic message of religion must be against violence which is a falsification like fundamentalism,” emphasizing that religion “must be education and the illumination and purification of conscience to promote dialogue, reconciliation and peace.”

What is the role of a Godparent? What does Baptism do?

My husband Tom and I were asked by our friends to be the Godparents of their firstborn child, their daughter, at her Baptism. It’s an honor to be asked to be a Godparent to a child, and it’s also a commitment for life! So what is the role of a Godparent?

It’s a response to the invitation of the infant’s parents in making a Profession of Faith in the child’s name and accepting the responsibility of assisting the parents in instructing the child in the Faith.

Especially for Tom and I this is an honor, since we don’t have children of our own, and because we love the Lord and the gift of the Church! In the 34 years of our marriage, we have become Godparents to other children and believe it is a blessing for us to become a part of their lives.

During the Baptism, it is the tradition for the Godmother to hold the baby while the priest pours water over the child’s head and says the words: “I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Through Baptism, this child receives the grace of God, and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit along with the gifts of the Holy Spirit: wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety and fear of the Lord.

After the Baptism, I held that small child in my arms and as looked at her, I asked our Heavenly Father to bless this daughter of His, to guide her through life and to give her the grace needed in the vocation He is calling her to live.

What Is Baptism?

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops defines this gift of the Sacrament of Baptism:

The origin and foundation of Christian Baptism is Jesus. Before starting his public ministry, Jesus submitted himself to the baptism given by John the Baptist. The waters did not purify him; he cleansed the waters. “He comes to sanctify the Jordan for our sake . . . to begin a new creation through the Spirit and water” (St. Gregory Nazianzen, Liturgy of the Hours, I, 634).

Jesus’ immersion in the water is a sign for all human beings of the need to die to themselves to do God’s will. Jesus did not need to be baptized because he was totally faithful to the will of his Father and free from sin. However, he wanted to show his solidarity with human beings in order to reconcile them to the Father.

By commanding his disciples to baptize all nations, he established the means by which people would die to sin—Original and actual—and begin to live a new life with God.

What are the Effects of Baptism?

The Bishops continue by showing us what Baptism does:

• Baptism makes us “members of one another.”
• Baptism leads us to imitate Christ’s example.
• Baptism makes us disciples to the world.
• Baptism calls us to live in the world, seeking the Kingdom in our daily lives.
• In Baptism, we profess our commitment to the Church’s beliefs, values and vision.
• Baptism invites us to a vocation of holiness and the practice of charity.
• Baptism incorporates us into the life, death and resurrection of Christ and the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit in the world.
• The baptized are to live as “lights in the darkness.”

Baptism is truly a gift from God! It is God’s “touch” on our souls! One that will remain with the baptized forever. In the Book of Isaiah, chapter 43, verse 1, we read: “But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, …’Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!’”

So, if you are asked to be a Godparent, think about the wonderful role you will have in the life of the person being baptized, encouraging them with hope to be a faithful disciple of the One who called them by name.

Tips For When Stress, Illness, and Worry Get You Down

Are you stressed? Worried? In pain?

Our staff receives countless prayer requests: relief from family strife, emotional pain, illness, unemployment… When we find ourselves in these situations, the number-one question we tend to ask is: Why? Why is this happening? Why me? Why them? Why now?

With my worrywart tendencies and chronic pain disorder, I’ve asked those questions hundreds of times. But there’s good news: Every saint experienced great suffering. In fact, I “met” one saint last week who knows all about suffering, and I just found out that her feast day is August 12 in the USA. I think she ‘found’ me in time for this blog!

NOT YOUR AVERAGE JANE?

Jane Frances was twenty when she married Baron Christophe de Chantal. The couple lived in a castle, but their finances were in ruin. (Does this sound like your life yet?) Jane decided to rise to the occasion, bringing the household and budget back under control. Even during this struggle, she won over employees with her good sense of humor. One acquaintance said, “Even stupid jokes were funny when she told them.”

LESSON #1: Suffering can perfect us. Will we let suffering turn us into self-pitying, bitter sourpusses, or will we accept it as an opportunity to grow in holiness? Jane decided the latter, and so can we! Ask the Holy Spirit to help you see your suffering as an opportunity rather than a ‘curse.’

Jane realized that she was lucky to live in a castle during financial ruin, while others had nowhere to go. Suffering taught her compassion, since she could relate to the struggles of others. She personally served soup and bread to poor persons who came to the door. Sometimes, a hungry person would turn right around and come back for more food. Why let people get away with this? She answered, “What if God turned me away when I came back to him again and again with the same request?”

Over several years, Jane lost two children and a sister. Suddenly and tragically, Jane’s husband was killed in a hunting accident. Although Christophe immediately forgave the man who shot him, Jane was tortured with grief and unforgiveness. For months, she locked herself away at home with her children. Yet slowly, she realized this suffering could perfect her, and she worked at forgiving the man. First, she greeted him on the street. Then, she invited him to her home. Eventually, she let God’s grace into her heart enough to forgive him.

LESSON #2: Suffering can remind us. Our struggles can help us realize how dependent we are upon God’s graces. Jane’s glimpse of this led her to seek God deeply in prayer and learning. That impressed Bishop (now Saint) Francis de Sales, who became her spiritual director.

When I’m stuck in bed due to muscle pain, I feel like a useless burden. But each day that I live with pain reminds me that God’s grace is stronger than pain. God has gotten me through it. In fact, God and I have gone through it together. Without my chronic pain, I know I wouldn’t remember God as much. I wouldn’t talk to Him as much. So, I am thankful for the reminders.

LESSON #3: Suffering can be a prayer. Our human nature will always find some reason to complain. But with the help of the saints, I’ve learned that my suffering can be a prayer. Jane said, “Suffering borne in the will quietly and patiently is a continual, very powerful prayer before God, regardless of the complaints and anxieties that come from the inferior part of the soul.” It’s not easy to be patient when we suffer, but that experience will draw us closer to Jesus, Mary, and the saints.

Jane knew that people who experienced suffering were capable of being very close to God. With the help of her spiritual director, she began a religious order that welcomed women who were rejected from other religious orders due to sickness or age.

During her life as a nun, Jane had difficulty praying – a spiritual dryness. Still, she knew that this would bring her closer to Christ and the saints.

Christ, who suffered a slow, painful death on the cross; and rejection by his peers, friends, and Jewish leaders…Mary, who experienced confusion at the Annunciation and when Jesus was lost in Jerusalem; who suffered the pain of her young Son’s imprisonment, torture, and death…Joseph, who was at least confused to discover Mary’s pregnancy, perhaps embarrassed to house his pregnant wife in a stable, and toiled in his work as a manual laborer…

Let’s resolve to let suffering perfect and remind us. Let’s pray with our sufferings.

Gorilla Glue for Marriages – Practical Tips from Newlyweds

Look, I’m not going to pretend we’ve got it all together; we’re newlyweds!

But we’ve found some things you may have forgotten in your marriage; things that have helped my husband and I through difficulties, frustration, and stress.

START YOUR DAY RIGHT

What’s the first thing you do when you see your spouse each day? Morning grunt or groan? That was my initial reaction. (Romantic, right?)

The minute my husband hears that I’m awake, he stops what he’s doing and comes to greet me with a hug or a kiss. I admit: first time this happened, I was shocked. Wasn’t I, the woman, supposed to be the thoughtful one? His consistent example has taught me the importance of starting our day right.

Consistency is important. It’s not really the affection that matters; it’s the fact that my spouse shows me I’m more important to him than coffee, the computer, or the TV – the first chance he gets. When he stresses me out later in the day, I remember (consciously or not) how much he cares about me. It’s a powerful practice and worth trying, if your schedule allows.

USE YOUR HOLY WATER

Do you use holy water in your home? You should – it’s powerful, and it’s free! We have so many treasures as Catholics, and the sacramentals are many (Rosary, holy water, and others). Most parishes have a special tank of holy water, with a spigot, so you can fill up your own holy water container.

Before either Dan or I leave our home, we use holy water to trace a cross on each other’s foreheads. This reminds us of our baptism; we belong to God, and our mission is to be Christ to others. One of the main goals of marriage is for husband and wife to support each other in reaching Heaven.

Our simple ritual brings us closer through a sign that’s both physical and spiritual. Each time we do this, I am reminded that my husband is my partner, and our hope is for Heaven. Try it!

CULTIVATE GRATEFULNESS FOR YOUR SPOUSE

Have you ever wondered whether your spouse notices your efforts? Life can be tough when you feel under-appreciated, especially as married persons. So, when we heard this idea from The Alexander House co-founder Greg Alexander, we adapted it.

Before we go to bed, Dan and I repeat our holy water ritual. Then, we both hold a crucifix and thank God for our spouse by telling Him why we’re grateful for him/her out loud. This can be very simple, like, “Lord, thank you for my husband. I appreciate all the things he does to keep our family on the right track.” Sometimes, we’re more specific: “Lord, thank you for my husband. I’m so grateful for his thoughtfulness in taking out the trash and balancing our budget today.”

After this prayer, we take turns kissing the crucifix, then we kiss each other. This ritual reminds us that we are gifts to each other, and that our love is strengthened when we love God first. Crucifixes are also strong symbols of sacrificial love – something married couples should embrace.

An aside: This ritual hold special significance to us, since at our wedding, we professed our vows holding this same crucifix. We also broke with wedding tradition and kissed the crucifix before kissing each other as husband and wife. We recommend it!

PRAY TOGETHER DAILY

Does that phrase scare you? I admit that praying together daily is not easy; sometimes we don’t do it as often as we want. For a couple of days, Dan and I didn’t pray together at all, and it affected us. We’d both noticed a difference in our relationship ever since we had stopped prayed together, and the change wasn’t good.

Prayer among spouses is probably one of Satan’s least favorite things. The root of “satan” means “one who opposes, obstructs, or acts as an adversary” (and we know what happens when spouses become opposed)! When you don’t pray together, you leave the vulnerable spots in your marriage undefended against attack and division. (Think of the age-old strategy: divide and conquer.) When spouses pray, they’re drawn together by God who is Love.

Need prayer ideas? Chris Stravitsch gives great advice. Dan and I both considered the vowed religious life (you know…Brother Dan and Sister Angela) before we met, so we’re comfortable using the Breviary to pray for a few minutes, in the morning, evening, and at night.

The Gorilla Glue for marriages is God. This lesson has become obvious to me after only 6 months of matrimony. While I have a big part to play in our marriage, God is the bond Who has made us “one flesh.” When Dan and I put God first – or when we approach God after failing to put Him first – Our Lord always reminds us that our marital bond is sacred and strong, because it was sealed by Him.

For more marriage tips, visit http://www.foryourmarriage.org

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate. (Christ, in Matthew 19:6)

The Perfect Prayer Partners

“Way of Salvation” by Andrea Bonaiuti (1365-68, Cappella Spagnuolo, Florence)

Father Alex, a recent visitor at the Pilgrim Center of Hope, advised that prayer partners are a great way to stay accountable in our spiritual life. Great advice, I thought, but how am I going to find someone willing to prayer with me at 5:30am or can be as flexible as I am called to be given my ever-changing family’s schedule?

Turns out…it’s actually quite easy.

This week, I explored more deeply the Catholic Church’s teaching on the communion of saints thanks to a free self-study I am taking from the Catholic Home Study Service. I learned the Body of Christ, our Church, is divided in three:

• The Church Triumphant is made up of saints who are united with God in Heaven.
• Those of us still living on Earth are the Church Militant.
• The Church Suffering is our brothers and sisters who have died in God’s grace but are still in need of purification. These holy souls in purgatory are assured of Heaven…just not yet.

In his general audience on August 4, 1999, Pope John Paul II stressed that the term “purgatory” does not indicate a place, but rather “a condition of existence” of “those who, after death, exist in a state of purification.” Since a saint is defined as someone who does God’s will in all things, it is reassuring to know that God’s mercy through purgatory is available for those of us who fall short of this definition.

During this state of purification, souls can pray for us, but no longer for themselves. In God’s mercy for their souls and ours, we are allowed to participate with our Blessed Mother, the saints, and angels in prayer for these holy souls to alleviate their suffering and hasten their journey to Heaven. (It’s important to note here that offering our sufferings up for the forgiveness of sins is believed to lessen our time in purgatory. So those of us who rolled our eyes every time Mom suggested we do just that should call them immediately and apologize!)

Detail from “An Angel Frees the Souls of Purgatory” by Lodovico Carracci (c. 1610, Pinacoteca Vaticana)

“Nothing is done alone,” writes Susan Tassone, author of Praying with the Saints for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. “The Church Militant reaches out to the Church Suffering and enjoins them with the Church Triumphant. We work as a team.” This team has become my prayer partners and they are available 24/7; so even with my crazy schedule I always have partners to pray with and to keep me accountable.

I have found that the perfect prayer for this partnership is the Rosary and in particular the Hail Mary. I begin my daily Rosary asking the heavenly hosts, my guardian angel, my favorite saints and the holy souls in purgatory to pray for me and for all of us on Earth to Jesus through our Blessed Mother.

Then, I envision them united in prayer,

“Hail Mary Full of Grace, the Lord is With Thee, Blessed Art Thou Among Women and Blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb Jesus.”

I recite the second part of the prayer for all of us and for the holy souls in purgatory,

“Holy Mary Mother of God Pray for Us Sinners Now and at the Hour of our Death.”

The fruit of this prayer partnership is that I am accountable in assisting these poor souls reach Heaven, and that helps me stay focused and free of distraction. I enjoy a growing connection to my family in Eternity and assurance due to the Church’s teaching that my prayers are effective. This connection is drawing me closer to Christ through my communion with His family in prayer.

Want to participate in our prayer partnership? Just start praying the Rosary daily wherever and whenever you can and you will be a part of this perfect prayer partnership.

(To learn more about the holy souls in purgatory, view this 30-minute video with Susan Tassone on EWTN Bookmark.)

As we enter heaven, we will seem them, so many of them coming toward us and thanking us. We will ask who they are and they will tell us, ‘A poor soul you prayed for in purgatory!  – Venerable Fulton J. Sheen